Creating positive self-talk or “talking like you like yourself” is one of the best things you can do for improving your sense of self-confidence and self-esteem. We all talk to ourselves on a daily basis (and some of us even answer ourselves) so it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
The truth of the matter is, self-talk is like a soundtrack that’s on 24/7. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, that little voice is always going in the back of your mind. If it’s positive, that’s great! Positive self-talk can be encouraging, uplifting, and definitely confidence-building.
The problem comes when the self-talk you use is more negative than positive. When you tear yourself down more than you build yourself up, you risk losing any of the confidence and self-esteem you’ve worked so hard to create. And no one needs that.
In this 5-part series, we are going to look at different kinds of self-talk and how it can help you build your confidence and achieve the success you dream about and deserve in your life. (And don’t you dare let me hear you saying you don’t deserve success… that is negative self-talk at its worst!)
Ready to get started?
Here are four ways you can start creating positive self-talk today.
Be more mindful of your thoughts.
We all create a running commentary on our lives every day, whether we realize it or not. According to an article posted on the Cleveland Clinic Wellness website, we humans have about 60,000 thoughts a day, and many of them are negative. The real insidious part of self-talk is that it’s such a natural thing to do, it’s easy to not pay attention to it. So easy that you might not even realize just how negative your self-talk has been.
The first thing to do then is become more mindful of your thoughts. Paying attention to your self-talk, and catching the negative thoughts before you express them is the best way to start talking to yourself in a more positive way.
The commentary you create each day shapes your life, so it pays to make sure it’s as positive as you can make it.
Tell yourself new stories
Think about how many times you’ve told yourself the same story over and over again. That article I mentioned earlier also said that out of our 60,000 daily thoughts, about 95 percent of them will be the same thoughts we ‘thunk’ yesterday. That means that only 5% of our thoughts on any given day are new ones!
So I’ll ask you again, how many times have you told yourself the same story over and over again? Probably quite a few.
The fact is, thoughts can become habits. And habits can be changed. If you catch yourself telling an old story that’s full of negative thoughts, find a way to change it to a more positive outcome or just stop telling it all together.
Give yourself a reality check.
How does your self-talk really compare to your life? Again, think about the stories you tell yourself most often, but this time think about activities you do every day and notice how relevant or not your self-talk stories are. Does not being able to do high-school calculus 20 years ago really mean you can’t do math on a daily basis? Does the fact that you can’t cook a gourmet meal really mean you’re hopeless in the kitchen? Chances are a good portion of those habitual thoughts you’ve been having don’t even apply to your life anymore.
Don’t just think, do something about it!
We can talk ourselves out of just about anything with enough negative self-talk. Instead of using self-talk to beat yourself up and keep yourself stuck, use it to take action. Use positive action statements to accomplish your goals and be your own best cheerleader.
Above all, don’t be so hard on yourself. You wouldn’t let your best friend do it, so why should you let yourself. After all, aren’t you supposed to be your own best friend?
This is Part 1 of a 5 part series on Creating Positive Self-Talk
Part 1 – Four Tips for Creating Positive Self-Talk (You are here)
Part 2 – Creating Positive Self-Talk as a Tool for Motivation
Part 3 – How to Use Positive Self-Talk to Teach Yourself New Things
Part 4 – Talk Like You Like Yourself: Reflections on Positive Self-Talk and Self-Confidence
Part 5 – Using Positive Self-Talk to Achieve Your Goals